lunes, 23 de marzo de 2009

El popot

El popot
-¡Lotro día enls Cabos nspusíms pedismas, talamádr! –dice La Cachetona
Le pongo así para diferenciarla de La Dientona y La Cola de Ballena (que que se llama así porque era de las que gustan que el elástico de su pantaleta se salga del jean, lo mismo que la mitad de sus nalgas, fenómeno conocido como “cola de ballena”).
Todo a gritos, ostentosos, autocelebratorios. La gente que serpentea ante el mostrador de Aeroméxico las mira, espantada, dándoles gusto, salpicada de sus risitas aguditas de ratoncitas con coliquitos.
-¿Stalamádr? –pregunta La Dientona.
-¡Mcai, statrás, stalamádr!
-¿Stalamá o sólo pedísmas? –pregunta La Cola de Ballena.
-Bué, sea... ¡¡¡PEDÍSMAS!!!
-¡Ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji, pt, ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji!
Quince, dieciséis años, peroxidadas, refundas en camisetas que tienen la marca por fuera con letras enormes y arrastran maletas que tienen la marca por fuera con letras enormes.
-¡Pseske, pt, había puro champón! –dice La Cachetona.
-Déjam cirte: “¡Auas cnel champón, uey!” sea –dide La Dientona.
-¡Puro champón! ¿Tkai? ¡No masks! –dice La Cola de Ballena.
-¡Ké peda! –dice La Cachetona.
-¡Pt! –dice admirativamente La Cola de Ballena.
-¡La mañana sguiente dije, sea, “Ké pedo, kién me trajo, sea, pt” ¿ya sascómo? ¿ni sas keón ni ké pedo? sea, “¿Kice?”, y tú, ps, nadsea, ni te acuers nimá niná.
-¡Pt! ¡Seak ni tkuerds ni keón? –dice La Cola de Ballena.
-¡Na, uey, blanco, nada, sea, NADA, sea kpedo! –confirmó La Cachetona.
-¡Ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji, pt, ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji!
-¡Pt!... -concluye filosóficamente La Dientona.
-¿Sas kuán sas kestás bien pero, sea, bien peda? –preguntó La Cola de Ballena.
-¿Kuán?
-¡Kuandno le atinas al popote uey! Sea, kuan ves al popot y lo kiers garrar con la bok y ¿NO LE ATINAS uey? y ves el pinch popot aí frentdetí y lo ves, sea “pinch popot”, y ¿abres la bok y no le atinas? ¿y no lo pueds garrar y dices “¿Keón, sea, che popot?”? Sea, “¡Tate kiet, uey, che popot te la bañas!” ¿y no pueds y no pueds?… Pus esa pamí es la señal dekstoy bien peda, pero peda, sea ¡BIEN PEDA!
-¡Ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji, pt, ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji!
-¡Che popot!
-¿No garras el popot? ¡Tas BIEN PEDA!
-Pt...
-¡EL QUE SIGUE NEXT!


EL CUENTO ANETRIOR ES DE GUILLERMO SHERIDAN, a quien Ud puede encontrar y leer en casi todos los números de la revista Letras Libres

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