lunes, 23 de marzo de 2009

El popot

El popot
-¡Lotro día enls Cabos nspusíms pedismas, talamádr! –dice La Cachetona
Le pongo así para diferenciarla de La Dientona y La Cola de Ballena (que que se llama así porque era de las que gustan que el elástico de su pantaleta se salga del jean, lo mismo que la mitad de sus nalgas, fenómeno conocido como “cola de ballena”).
Todo a gritos, ostentosos, autocelebratorios. La gente que serpentea ante el mostrador de Aeroméxico las mira, espantada, dándoles gusto, salpicada de sus risitas aguditas de ratoncitas con coliquitos.
-¿Stalamádr? –pregunta La Dientona.
-¡Mcai, statrás, stalamádr!
-¿Stalamá o sólo pedísmas? –pregunta La Cola de Ballena.
-Bué, sea... ¡¡¡PEDÍSMAS!!!
-¡Ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji, pt, ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji!
Quince, dieciséis años, peroxidadas, refundas en camisetas que tienen la marca por fuera con letras enormes y arrastran maletas que tienen la marca por fuera con letras enormes.
-¡Pseske, pt, había puro champón! –dice La Cachetona.
-Déjam cirte: “¡Auas cnel champón, uey!” sea –dide La Dientona.
-¡Puro champón! ¿Tkai? ¡No masks! –dice La Cola de Ballena.
-¡Ké peda! –dice La Cachetona.
-¡Pt! –dice admirativamente La Cola de Ballena.
-¡La mañana sguiente dije, sea, “Ké pedo, kién me trajo, sea, pt” ¿ya sascómo? ¿ni sas keón ni ké pedo? sea, “¿Kice?”, y tú, ps, nadsea, ni te acuers nimá niná.
-¡Pt! ¡Seak ni tkuerds ni keón? –dice La Cola de Ballena.
-¡Na, uey, blanco, nada, sea, NADA, sea kpedo! –confirmó La Cachetona.
-¡Ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji, pt, ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji!
-¡Pt!... -concluye filosóficamente La Dientona.
-¿Sas kuán sas kestás bien pero, sea, bien peda? –preguntó La Cola de Ballena.
-¿Kuán?
-¡Kuandno le atinas al popote uey! Sea, kuan ves al popot y lo kiers garrar con la bok y ¿NO LE ATINAS uey? y ves el pinch popot aí frentdetí y lo ves, sea “pinch popot”, y ¿abres la bok y no le atinas? ¿y no lo pueds garrar y dices “¿Keón, sea, che popot?”? Sea, “¡Tate kiet, uey, che popot te la bañas!” ¿y no pueds y no pueds?… Pus esa pamí es la señal dekstoy bien peda, pero peda, sea ¡BIEN PEDA!
-¡Ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji, pt, ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji ji!
-¡Che popot!
-¿No garras el popot? ¡Tas BIEN PEDA!
-Pt...
-¡EL QUE SIGUE NEXT!


EL CUENTO ANETRIOR ES DE GUILLERMO SHERIDAN, a quien Ud puede encontrar y leer en casi todos los números de la revista Letras Libres

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The enterprise delivers a one [url=http://www.hotdeal.vn/ho-chi-minh/]nhom mua gia re[/url] for every day in each of the marketplaces it serves. The Groupon features as an assurance arrangement utilizing ThePoint's program: if a distinct quantity of men and females signal up for the provide, then the offer gets available to all if the predetermined minimum is not satisfied, no one receives the offer you that functioning day. This lowers danger for retailers, who can offer with the price reduction codes as sum reductions as nicely as item income marketing devices. Groupon can make cash by maintaining about fifty percent the funds the customer pays for the coupon.

For illustration, an $eighty massage could be obtained by the consumer for $forty by way of Groupon, and then Groupon and the retailer would break up the $forty. That is, the retailer presents a therapeutic massage valued at $eighty and gets all around $20 from Groupon for it (underneath a fifty%/fifty% break up). Or, if $240 nicely worth of home painting remedies is obtained by the customer for $fifty via Groupon, then the group gets $20 five and Groupon retains $twenty five. The consumer gets the therapeutic therapeutic massage, or the house painting provider, in these examples, from the retailer for which they at initial compensated out $40 (or $fifty) to Groupon. There are particular corporations to which Groupon at first did not supply its suppliers, which involves capturing ranges and strip golf equipment nevertheless, using pictures ranges have been featured on Groupon.

Unlike labeled advertising, the merchant does not pay out out any upfront expense to participate: Groupon collects specific info from prepared purchasers and then contacts only folks shoppers, primarily by each day e-mail, who may possibly potentially probably be fascinated in a certain products or help.

Groupon employs a large sum of copywriters who draft descriptions for the deals showcased by electronic mail and on the website. Groupon's advertising textual content for the 'deals' has been seen as a contributing factor to the recognition of the web site, that includes a distinct blend of comprehensive easy simple fact-checking and witty humor.

Owing to Groupon's marketplace acquiring primarily composed of female consumers, the offers are generally targeted on the wellness, physical fitness and attractiveness marketplaces.

There are possible difficulties with the enterprise merchandise. For instance, a effective deal could briefly swamp a minor organization with way as well quite a few clientele, jeopardizing a probability that customers will be dissatisfied, or that there won't be sufficient solution to fulfill the need. Hole, a substantial garments retailer, was in a situation to control 445,000 low cost coupon codes in a nationwide deal (however it knowledgeable server difficulties at a one level), but a more compact sized enterprise could expand to be all of a sudden flooded with purchasers. 1 coffee store in Portland, Oregon struggled with an enhance in customers for three months, when it bought shut to one,000 Groupons on the a single day it was supplied, in accordance to one report. In reaction to comparable troubles, Groupon officers situation that 'deal' subscriptions ought to be capped in advance to a realistic amount.

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